20 Witty Things To Say To Your Co-Workers

·       Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and retarded world-view. 
·       I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 
·       Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 
·       I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it. 
·       I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. 
·       What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 
·       I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 
·       I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away. 
·       I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 
·       I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 
·       It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 
·       Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 
·       How about never? Is never good for you? 
·       I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 
·       You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication 
·       You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME. 
·       I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 
·       I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 
·       I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 
·       Who me? I just wander from room to room.