<< Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies ** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. ** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. ** If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. ** Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year. ** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her. ** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. ** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. ** It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down. ** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected. ** Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite. ** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. ** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off. ** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now. ** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. ** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do. ** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. ** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. ** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. ** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. ** If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. ** Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. ** Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. ** All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. ** A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium. ** Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. ** Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. ** It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. ** Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. ** It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. ** A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. ** It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. ** When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. ** No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. ** Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. ** You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. ** Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. ** Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired. >>