"It's a guy thing."
Translation:  "there is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
~~~~~~~~
"Can I help with dinner?"
Translation:   "Why isn't it already on the table?"
 ~~~~~~~~~
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Translation:  Absolutely nothing.  It's a conditioned response.
 ~~~~~~~
"It would take too long to explain."
Translation:   "I have no idea how it works."
 ~~~~~~
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Translation: "The batteries in the remote are dead."
 ~~~~~~~
"We're going to be late."
Translation:  "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
~~~~~~~~
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Translation:  "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
~~~~~~~~
"That's interesting, dear."
Translation:  "Are you still talking?"
  ~~~~~~~~
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Translation: "I forgot our anniversary again."
    ~~~~~~
"You expect too much of me."
Translation: "You want me to stay awake."
~~~~~~~~
"That's women's work."
Translation: "It's difficult, dirty and thankless."
~~~~~~~~
"You know how bad my memory is."
Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'Rocky V', the address of the 
first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every
car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
~~~~~~~~
"Oh, don't fuss.  I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Translation:  "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
admit I'm hurt."
~~~~~~~
"I do help around the house."
Translation:  "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
~~~~~~~~
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Translation:  "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
~~~~~~~~
"I can't find it."
Translation:  "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless.
~~~~~~~~
"What did I do this time?"
Translation: "What did you catch me doing?"
~~~~~~~~
"I heard you."
Translation:  "I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately 
that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days
yelling at me."
~~~~~~~~
"You look terrific."
Translation:  "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
~~~~~~~~
"I missed you.
Translation: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are
out of toilet paper."
~~~~~~~~~
I'm not lost.  I know exactly where we are."
Translation: "I'm lost.  I have no idea where we are, and no one will
ever see us alive again."
 ~~~~~~~~
"We share the housework."
Translation:  "I make the messes, you clean them up."
~~~~~~~~
"This relationship is getting too serious."
Translation: "You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck."  
~~~~~~~~
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Translation: "I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed
help."