Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

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a.      WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
b.      WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
(they don't have enough time)
c.      WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop for directions)
d.      WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MENS BRAINS?
(because they don't have penises to put them in)
e.      WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
(they're intended for children but men usually end up playing with them)
f.      WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)
g.      HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(nobody knows since it has never happened)