INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN 

a. Never do housework. No man ever loved a woman because the house was
spotless.

b. Don't imagine you can change a man -  unless he's in diapers.

c. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

d. They put a man on the moon - they should  be able to put them all
there.

e. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

f. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too small to be let out alone.

g. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is
unquestionably gay.

h. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell
them apart.

i. Definition of a bachelor:  a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.

j. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.

k. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too
old for it.

l. If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.

m. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.. Even in
biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.