Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a prostitute?
A: A fucking know it all.
 
Q:What do you call 2000 lawyers at the bottem of the sea?
A: A good start. 

Q: Whats the difference between a dead Lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead dog  in the
middle of the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. 
     
Q: What do you call a lawyer with sand up to his neck?
A: Not enough sand. 

Theres a lawyer, a nun, and a Priest outside of a burning school.
Nun—"Save the children!"
Preist—"Oh fuck the children!"
Lawyer—"Do you think we have time?" 

Q: What’s 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A: A tie on an attorney! 

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving. 

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. 

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope. 

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No? Good! 

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. 

Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. 

Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. 

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary.

Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a fish.

Q. Why do they bury Attorney's 10 feet under. 
A. Because deep down they're really good people.