Subject: Watch out for these viruses!

Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails
everyone about what it did.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic virus (a strain of Lewinski virus): Your whole computer goes down.

Disney virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. 

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be
back.

Lorena Bobbit virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then
discards through windows.

Viagra virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy. 

Clinton virus: gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.